There are things people don't tell you about in life, and how you will feel after graduating from college is one of those things.
I graduated in May of 2022, so I have spent the last year and a half trying to figure my life out.
Up until your last semester of college, college is great. That fall of senior year is filled with the excitement that you are, in fact, finally a senior; you're excited about the tailgates before game day and the nice weather for going out with your friends all over town. You're excited to be back on a daily schedule and to go home for the holidays. You are so excited that you have made it this far and are almost done.
But that excitement is so short-lived (In my experience, anyway).
It's spring, and football is over. The weather is cold, and you're taking all the liberal arts classes you put off, and you're just so done with being in college. The early months of January through March are a drag as you wait for spring break to come around the corner. I never got my Senior Spring Break or my Junior one, either. I spent that week stuck inside four walls behind a window with my head in MCAT prep books; however, that's for another blog post. The point is, spring of senior year drags. Homework gets old, and studying gets less and further in between. You say you'd rather be done and get into the "real" world and have a 9-5 versus homework (This is just so hilarious to me that I thought a 9-5 would be any better) - the reality is quite literally a death sentence. Wake up at 6:45 am, work 8, 9, 10? hours a day, get home at 6 pm, eat at 7 pm, shower at 8 pm, sleep, and yes, repeat - four more times.
Here you are, on the one hand, waiting to be finished with school, but on the other hand, you start to realize that you know that shit is about to get so real once you get that diploma. You have to make a living for yourself. It's time to find a job or a career that will sustain you for the rest of your life. You'll need to find somewhere to live; you'll need to find ways to pay for things you maybe didn't have to pay for in college - taxes, utilities, insurance, rent, the new set of $1000 tires, a new computer because college killed yours, and anything and everything else in between that you now take on the responsibility for. Don't forget to make time for your friends, family, significant others, and, I guess, yourself.
The summer after I graduated was great, don't get me wrong. I found an 8-4 job with no weekends or holidays. Decent pay and coworkers are amazing. I spent my weekends going home to the lake and staying in the city to hang out with friends. I stayed very occupied and was happy.
Then came the fall after graduation...Man, I wasn't ready to feel the way I did.
Suddenly, you find yourself curled up on the couch, scrolling on your phone. You're alone, with a ginormous pit in your stomach, a couple of tears in your eyes, and a cold microwave meal you made after work because you hate grocery shopping, and you're exhausted. You think about how fast time goes by, and how you got to be this sad human on the couch. You wish with all of your being that you were back in college studying for that physics exam (Because anything could be better than being in the workforce with a 9-5, 5 days a week).
You're not in college anymore.
You're not even close to being in college anymore.
You're the farthest thing from it,
but everyone else seems to be. Everyone else is happy, successful, and settled,
except for you.
There are no more nights of sneaking into the campus bar; there are no more frat parties. There is no more fake ID or football games in the student section. There is no more living within walking distance of your best friends. There are no more pre-games in the campus apartments. There are no more Greek life events. There are no more care packages from Mom & Dad, reckless spending, or easy hangovers. There is no more piggybacking off of freshmen to eat at the dining halls, and there is no more 3-month summer vacations. There is no more career counseling (Not that I ever had a college counselor who knew what the hell they were doing). No more job fairs, no more spontaneity, no more dorm life, no more drunk Don's, and no more college memories.
You will never get to relive those 4 years of your life again - what's done it done.
Gone.
It's all gone.
Four years of your life are future, present to past in the blink of an eye.
There are feelings of regret: Did I make the most of my time at college? Should I have done more? Did I choose the right major?
There are feelings of sadness & loneliness: I miss the life that I had. I miss my friends. I miss the memories. Everyone is having way more fun than I am.
There are feelings of unsettlement: What do I do with my degree? Where do I go from here? Do I need to be getting married/having a baby/buying a home soon? What if I don't want to do this forever? What do I do if I don't get into my grad program?
But, there are feelings of excitement, anticipation, and major relief.
The further I get from graduation, the more I am able to see that adulthood in your 20s has its own amazing perks- you might need to convince yourself of that once in a while.
I'm starting to realize that our 20s are a glamorized decade in people's lives, and it's extremely important to distance yourself from the media, or anyone else, from telling you what your 20s need to look like. Don't focus on what other people are doing, but focus on yourself and listen to your body. Are you doing things that make you happy? Yes? Then you're living your 20s how you should.
Do whatever you like. It's your life. It's your 20's. Work hard now and play later - cool. Play now and work hard later - awesome. Play now and play later - my literal dream. Work now and later - go for it; I'm your cheerleader. It's your life.
If you're a college senior reading this, know post-grad blues are real. You might wish you were in the exact spot you're in right now in a year from now. You'll feel all the emotions, and you'll feel like you'll never be able to have as much fun as you did in college, but you will. I promise. Do NOT wish what's left of college away. You will miss it.
There will be things to look forward to, too.
You'll host dinner parties, go back to campus for game day tailgates, go on vacations whenever you want (ok, not whenever you want, but given you have PTO), you'll have money to spend on yourself, time to read books you want to read, and finally have your own bedroom (Bless tf up). No more worrying about your two midterms, lab report, and quiz due on the same day, and no more all-nighters or weekends studying. You get to direct the next chapter of your life.
The year after college graduation is...a transformative one.
Have fun, find yourself, and work hard. If things don't turn out how you thought they would, they will eventually. If you decide you have a new goal or dream than what you went to school for - go and chase it. You're going to want to make sure your career and future are things that will make you get out of bed each morning - not keep you in it.
Give yourself grace as you navigate this transition in your life; know that there is no timeline you need to follow, and if you feel lost, it's okay; I felt lost, too. I still do sometimes.
I believe that good things come to those who wait, and you will, too. Just wait and see.
Yours Truly.
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